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to free to be held down..yet so intense i cant be forgotten.. yeah.. thats me and no apologies 

LIMITLESS is an ongoing discovery about a ways of life and how to rise above your challenges. I started this walk in 2009, I stopped, then I came back to my first love. Let's keep doing this people, that way, we would never give up!

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Sunday, May 16, 2010

No One!

Hi everyone, it’s been a while now since I’ve blogged or at the very least, it seems that way to me; I have been bedridden and in pains. On Thursday morning the 13th of May 2010, it seemed I would lose my life to an ailment I have lived with most of my life. I’m asthmatic. The chronic kind; but prior to that day, the previous week or so, I had gone for my medication so I wasn’t worried for my health besides, that was the least of my worries because I was plagued with measles, typhoid and malaria. Someone asked me if there was anyone I had wronged, just me? All at once? So as I lay on my bed to weak to speak, I had difficulty in breathing which, I thought would pass and in a matter of seconds I was barely hanging by the tread.
Inside of me, at that moment, I had given up on surviving it this time, I believed this wasn’t my lucky day as I wasn’t expecting anyone to come check on me in my room at that time. I was ready to meet my maker and had asked for forgiveness the best way I could.
I lost consciousness and it happened that God used my little cousin who woke up early and sort of drifted to my room since the T.V in my room was on, to save me and that has been a mystery to me. I’d like to think that God has great plans for me and I am eager to know what it seeing that he keeps saving me.
That brings me to the next issue I need to get of my chest. I don’t like being unhappy or hurt if I can afford it and I try as much as possible to avoid it but still it comes in different ways. I’m not here lament or wallow in self-pity but still, I’m entitled to question things I find abnormal. Please correct me if I’m wrong but when you’re ill, your core friends are supposed to check in on you, show they care right? So, I won’t be assuming too much if I feel the people I have as my so called close friends should call me and inquire after me? They should ‘embarrass’ me with phone calls and text messages but I got none of that and to say that I’m angry is an understatement! I am also hurt and I feel like crying. Someone would probably tell me that life isn’t always about me and that they probably had stuff going on in their lives yeah? I disagree. I’m not self-centered nor do I expect so much from my friends. I am always there for them, not that I expect that to be a pre-requisite for their care or affection. But, it hurt, so very much that I find my heart breaking all over again. There are times that you can be vulnerable and need to be reassured that you have people who actually care about you and at that state of my vulnerability, they were found wanting; it just buttresses the fact that I am destined to be a loner. I have decided to drop all my ‘friends’ seeing that I don’t want to get hurt. I would cope, afterall, I did while I was ill didn’t I?
I just need to thank Seye Kuyinu of www.seye.blogspot.com your calls, text messages as well as the time you gave to me is appreciated and I sincerely hope I can repay you. Thanks for being there.
‘Bleble’ (for that’s what I call her) for checking in on me. Despite her busy schedule as the Editor of a publication, she still had my time and to think before now I barely gave her time. Thank you so much dear.
Nat who has a demanding job and also is working on his new album still kept checking up on me. I would upload two of his new songs for you but with his permission of course although he doesn’t need publicity from me since he already has it but I’d most sincerely want to be the first to play it on the internet since I have it already.
Abdulameed, for what it’s worth, thank you so much for calling.
Most of my friends read my blog and if I when you do, I’m dead serious about this post. Most times you all think I’m one strong lady but please I’m no SUPERWOMAN and definitely not SUPERHUMAN! I’m just tired of acting strong, of taking all the crap you all dish out. I am tired! I am fed up! There’s a limit to my patience and understanding, I can’t take it anymore. I’d be glad if we never speak again! There’s no harm in being without friends; after all, I’ve had loads of years of experience; I’m an only child so please, get going!


CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Hey lady! I'm so happy to hear you're doing better. It's times like these that shape our resilience and character, you're a shining example of that and God's ultimate protection. You're a superwoman in my book :-)!

Myne Whitman said...

All these illnesses at the same time? OMG, I'm so glad you're feeling much better now. I have to apologize for not checking in on you. I noticed your absence on naijastories and actually mentioned it to the SO and I was asking my Lagos Rep last week if you had called. Take care dearie and be strong, your life sure has a purpose.

F said...

I'm very happy for you... Both in terms of you overcoming these issues with your physical health and dealing with matters of friendship as well. Sometimes keeping it inside is another burden in and of itself- the last thing you need to add to your asthma. Abeg, free the dead weight, my sister... It isn't worth it. LOL @ "I’m an only child so please, get going!" sha... :)

histreasure said...

Oh dear, Only you!! not to trivialise what you've been through but girl, that's quite a lot at the same time.
I thank God for your life, for your little cousin..your time is not yet, and not soon..

I am glad you are up and back here
Welcome back, tell dem o say u no dey haus, which kain whahla be dat?

shorty said...

Its so good to hear you are feeling much better. *hugs*

Jaycee said...

I co-sign on what F said...

And I just want to come to where you are right now and give you a BIG BIG HUG. I'm so glad you're doing okay now. In fact, I'm HAPPY, ECSTATIC, FILLED WITH JOY, GRATEFUL TO GOD...and many other good feelings.

It's so good to read your blog and know you're well. Didn't know you were asthmatic. Hopefully your symptoms will fade away and never return. I know asthma does fade away as one grows older, right?

Rita said...

Oh Chacha, thank God you are ok. This is one scary incident. How are you doing?

They say a friend in need is a friend indeed...I understand how you feel eh...

Please take good care of yourself.

Omotee! said...

awww, poor u. am glad u've recovered. i understand how u feel about ur friends, sadly its the way life is. forgive ok?
glad to have u back here, devil na bad liar, notin go do u!

T.Notes said...

Big Big Big Big Mighty Biggggg Hugs your way!!!
Pele Dearie. Hope u're totally up now? When all else fails, u know ur blogsville family's got ur back;-)

I remember once i got knocked down with chicken pox (at my age o!) and my "friends" dared to forget to call!What!!!I called them one by one and gave them a good blasting! Lol, that got them quickly apologetic and hence my phone was ringing off its hook. Then i sighed, "haaa, now that's better." I let the thing ring and didnt pick up!

Get well quickly girl. Don't dare let that sickness take u down. We need u ere!

2cute4u said...

@ Curvy Gurl.. Thanks so much for the hype! The encouragement makes it all better, Thank you so much for gracing my blog with your presence.

@ Myne..Hi love.. sorry, right after my last comment on your facebk status, that was when this whole thind started, thank you so much for your concern..I'm not fully back, I just couldn't keep away with seye telling me about the wonderful post coming up every so often.. (em, sorry, I'm a bit laid back, but what's SO?) I managed to post two poems on Naijastories,didn't have the strenght to type up new ones, but I promise to 10 new ones from my manuscript when I'm much stronger.Thank you for coming..

@F... lOL thank you so much.. I'm still reeling from the outburst! But truth be told.. I feel much better.Thank you.

@Histreasure.. I had to even ask myself 'whats up?" Hmmm, I just wonder..Thank you so much for coming, I trust you and your family are good?

@ Shorty...ooooo, thank you, thanks a whole lot, I'm so grateful for your concern, really.

@ Jaycee...I developed mine in my secondary school days, but I have one or two cousins whose theirs was childbirth and they've outgrown it,some haven't till now and are in their 70s, others too in my category( my family, I mean), we just keep praying to God for better times. Sometimes I could go for months and be free and then, for one reason or the other, it hits and then, it just doesn't stop. But, that said, God dey.. Thank you so much.God bless you for showing concern..

@Rita!..Long time! How have you been? I know you have a new post and I haven't even read but I promise you that I will and would comment soonest, thank you so much for caring.. I'm feeling the beginnings of a smile already!

@Omotee.. If you're the only friend I have left,I won't mind I tell you! After your call, I can't put to words how I felt except my mum asked me if I had won a jackpot or some guy I like had just by accident, proposed marriage to me.. I have to do a post on you, somehow..Thank you so much for going the extra mile. Thank you so much, if nothing else, just for hearing your voice.

@T.Notes.. I'm actually stretching out for the hug! I can actually imagine it.. Thank you so much for reaching out and for your support.. Liked the story on how you just let the phone keep ringing..I actually feel a manic joy just visualising it! So I know you you have a post, a new one.. Dont worry, I'd get to it very soon..

This is saying thanks to all of you who have made an extra effort to comment just to show you actually care. May God bless you all immensely!

yankeenaijababe said...

so late to this post, so sad to know you were ill, I am happy to know you recovering, God is great, really happy to read from you, take it easy sister, those friends need a to be flogged, just keep doing you and stay healthy, sleep with ur mosquito repellant, hate malaria.


Seriously (your name here), all I can say is WOW! This post reminds me of Richard Bach's words, "here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't."

2cute4u, Ur mission on earth is still on. Do not let that asthma defeat you. U can defeat it too. I strongly believe that. The bible that I read talked about "strangers fading away and being afraid out of their close places" at the sound of the voice of the great physician Himself (Jesus). You are His temple so, sickness in your body is a stranger. I am not sure if you believe what I am saying...

About your friends, hmm...its quite unfortunate but don't cast away all your friends for just this one issue o. I beg you. No one knows the bridge to tomorrow's breakthrough. I know and understand that you are pissed. Talk it with the ones you feel are very close to you. Make your grievances known to them. I am sure they'd consider it and change. You still need them. Will start putting you in my prayers from now on (after you tell me your name though) haha. Stay safe in His hands.


Fragilelooks said...

thank GOD u r ok nw. thank GOD 4 ur cousin o. i knw d feeling of near death xperience.

T.Notes said...

Me again, stopping by quickly to drop a smile! U should b doing push-ups/press-ups by now n preparing to take on the world again?!Smiles.
God Speed with recovery.
Glad i was able to inspire a smile.
Ma fi ara le o! (Don't give up on the fight.)

muyiwa said...

Hope you are ok now,i once had that kinda chest infection in naija and it started in the middle of the night,i was rushed to the nearest private hospital,i know how u feel,pele oooo,take care

fabladyH said...

firstly so sorry you were sick, am really glad you are fine and kicking well.
About the friend issues, i actually think its so sad that the ppl we call our friends are no where to be found in our times of deepest need. Don't stress too much about them, let go. there are many more friends to make who would care.
God does have great Plans for you.


eeyah. Good to know ur a lot better. God will perfect healing in ur body and make u sound and whole in health. Well, Friends are fiends, look on the positive side, u got lot more people less called friends who care.