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to free to be held down..yet so intense i cant be forgotten.. yeah.. thats me and no apologies 

LIMITLESS is an ongoing discovery about a ways of life and how to rise above your challenges. I started this walk in 2009, I stopped, then I came back to my first love. Let's keep doing this people, that way, we would never give up!

I hereby certify that what you read here is Original. Written by me. Except for some mentions.. Powered by Blogger.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

IN YOUR FACE FOR JOS

In the face of this violence and mayhem, all they could do was watch as they lost all they had and have ever known.
         In my thoughts, I wonder what would actually be going on the head of these rescue teams assigned..the sacrilege is just too much.
                   Remember the village that was wiped out? yeah.. they were removed when they had started decaying, the twenty-two children who weren't spared and the wells that were stuffed with dead bodies.. Hmm. tell me, where did the survivors run to? where are they? Do you have an inkling to how they survive each day?
 
how long do you think this help, relief will continue without external help from you?me?us?how long?
PLEASE GIVE TO JOS!!!!

Monday, February 22, 2010

SAVE OUR SOUL-Message to the compassionte

Most times, life sucks and badly. Bad things happen through no fault of ours and when they do, we obviously turn to God for answers, when we get none; we wait on God and at the same time hope people around us would be our succor or our standby.
When you are a victim of circumstance, with no one to point accusing fingers at you, its so disheartening when you cannot get yourself back to the way you were or you can barely survive.
Do you know how hard it is to live? Survive? Be helpless? Never knowing where the next help or assistance will come from? People don’t remember you anymore, you’re of no significance. I tell you, it’s painful. I have lived through that, so I know. It’s a life you don’t wish on your worst enemy...
You are beginning to wonder where I’m going with this, yes? The issue is JOS!
Yes oh. So many people have lost all they have and are.(Including those who lost loved ones and those who died). Taking a look at the extent of devastation that occurred there is enough to make you know that nothing in this life is worth it except for you to live a good life and be there for person you meet. I know it might seem so far away to you, not your business? I mean,
what do you care? You neither know nor have anyone there, but what it comes down to is compassion.
Loads of Nigerians kept on talking about Haiti and the disaster that has befallen them and even participated in giving towards the Haiti rescue project (some still are) while decrying what was going on in Jos and praying to God to help Nigeria,Jos. When you spend time crying and condemning Nigeria, No one will make your country better for you except you! So, what are you going to do huh? Keep bemoaning your fate or do something?
I’m urging you, earnestly appealing to you to give towards those who were displaced during the Jos violence. No matter how little, it will be appreciated .Working class, student, and unemployed but with some backup, you can help.
Not to insinuate myself, my opinion and beliefs in to this topic, I have to say this is step towards making things good for Nigeria, If you’re truly patriotic as I know you all are, Let’s do this; we can Do it if we try. BE COMPASSIONATE, GIVE TO JOS. Lets raise this fund and help people whose and prayers blessings will be worth more than what you can ever hope for. Did I mention God’s approval and his favour? It will be in abundance.. I’m not from Jos (I’ve been asked that) but I’ve lived pain passed through something similar to this and God used givers to bless me so now, I feel their pain. You can do it without having to go through any disaster.. Bottom line, please please GIVE
If you’re interested in giving or need further information, Please send whatever concerns to:
Fit2bimi@yahoo.co.uk
P.S. A PERSON IS A PERSON NO MATTER HOW LITTLE


Saturday, February 20, 2010

UNREQUINTED LOVE...MY ZEAL, MY FAILURE

 

Green as ever,
My memories of you
Light shining brighter
My love for you
Betrayals from you
Forgotten in a moment
Still, the fight
Not to let you see
Me continues.

Clock ticking
Showing how long I’ve been here
Blazing ever will my soul for you
Yet you ask why I’m this near you
It makes my efforts so hard
My emotions and thoughts, sad
My heart is brewing a storm
I need to drive my point home
Seasons come and go
Yet my communication with you is slow
Imagining you with me
Is all my efforts are capable of

Hotter than fire
Stronger than a storm
My devotion for you
You don’t see, do you?
Is it possible to wait?
When all has been said?
Even to the end of the road,
Very like the beginning
You held my counsel, love
You made me persevere
‘Be long suffering

Reality is presiding
At the head of the table
Showing me different sides of a coin
The bottle is upturned
Showing the level of despair
The days gone by unnoticed
The heart withering
Absence of life…

Yearnings of a lost soul struggling to be heard and thus, found.





Thursday, February 18, 2010

WHALE OR MERMAID !!!!

Recently, in a large city in Australia ,
a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.
It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)
They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.
They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.
They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia,
the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.
If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life
because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex?
Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either.
Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.
P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.

With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.
Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨


Hi guys, you must be wondering at the diversion this time from my usual way of writing.. I visit a particular blog everyday because I find the author’s piece daily therapeutic. She’s one of the oldest bloggers ever! In age and all. I have come to know, love and respect her. She’s Sylvia from over the hill . I encourage you to pay her a visit. At first, you might find it a bit dull; No, don’t, continue, You’d love her. That said, I got this from her and asked her permission to reprint this, she readily gave her permission. Hope you loved it?
Love you all.


Monday, February 15, 2010

CRAZY BAD VAL DAY..

I had the worst Val day ever.. It was kind of something that I had expected; but since I wasn’t looking forward to it, I didn’t know that all the stuff; goings-on of Val will affect me. I made sure of that by extricating myself from any cobweb. Still, it found me where I was hiding.
I received a call from a guy who I was dated and had agreed with to date again... Remember the guy I mentioned in I’M EVOLVING? Yeah, that one, the boyfriend/relationship that I wasn’t feeling? The guy called to tell me this; I think its better I relay the conversation as it took place:

Guy: Hey what’s up? How you?

Me: I’m ok, Happy Val, so you finally called. How far?
Guy: I’m good.

Me: How’s work? Life? What are you doing for Val?

Guy: Well, see, there’s something that I need to discuss with you.. Thing is the reason why I’ve been distant and not acting like the man in your life is I don’t think I can marry you.(sighs)

Guy: Are you there? Hello?

Me: I’m here, go on.

Guy: Yeah, I can’t marry like I told you and thing is when I’m ready, You won’t even be among those I’d choose. Just thought I told you so that you don’t keep waiting you know.. I care enough about you to disappoint you.. We are friends first before any other thing. Sorry.

You all don’t know me but since I’ve gotten a lot of stabs on the back, I never let my enemy(yes, that’s what he is now) know when he /she has hurt me. In fact, that’s when I’m most playful and jovial..So,I ask this fool why at least for posterity sake he can’t even consider me for marriage. He says:

Guy: You’re not pretty, you’re beautiful, and you know it and you’re fun to be with (I give him the “fuck you” finger through the phone)But the thing is your too intelligent, successful and assertive for my liking, We’d always be quarrel and I can’t stand it.. One day, because I know myself, I’d wake up, pack a single bag and you’d never see me.

Me: So that’s all?

When he said that was it, I heaved a sigh of relief. ‘Cause this is someone I barely bug. I’m too busy with work to do the normal things chics to with guys they say they’re dating. Besides, I wasn’t feeling anything so what the heck? In my heart, I said screw him, Good riddance
To bad rubbish..Mcheeew.. But somehow, I was hurt, I mean, I always get to be the one to give reasons why I don’t want to settle down with a particular guy, and now someone was dishing out to me? And for the wrong reasons for that matter..
Mehn fuck and fuck guys, ladies who screw with peoples emotions without a thought for the next person..
I hope you get your medicine. So, I’m free, I wasn’t in bondage but at least one suitor to be off my hand. .God is sure deleting the garbage and is gradually leading me towards the right person.
I also had serious calls from two exs and we each stayed on the phone chatting away, Like me, they didn’t have any special people (No be by force).
How did yours go? The truth! Not a purified or edited version, I’m sure someone else’s Val was as crazy or silly as mine.. Talk, we dissect am jare, nothing do you.

PS.Special thanks to fragile looks, writefreak,myne Whitman, Sylvia from across the hill, Reformed slut, akaBagucci, naijaprincess234, AJ, BBB and Mwajim Al for taking out the time to offer me this advice.. I’m so honored you all..
Remain blessed you all, as always, I love you.


Saturday, February 13, 2010

HELP....

People, for once I do not have the answers .Maybe ‘cause this involves me and it is in the now. Right now, I’m a confused person and I certainly do not want to make any mistakes as I’m too close to this and my heart is involved. You my people are on the outside. Tell me what you see.

I met this wonderful guy through mutual friends who wanted us to stop brooding, go out and have fun. He’d lived all his life in London but wanted to relocate to Nigeria. I was disgruntled with Nigeria and was making plans to travel for my masters. Anyway we met and decided we liked each other and actually wanted a quiet relationship.We had dreams, a good life, good job and subsequently, God willing, marriage.

He got a job and I was so happy for him but he had to go back to London. He had an operation to undergo plus he had to sell off his house, car, pay off his bills, tidy up and then come back to resume at his new place of work

So we planned together including how we would stay together when he came back all in the spirit of making serious commitments to each other. I had to go back to my work station as I was on vacation when we met and we started conversing through phone calls and text messages.
Anyway, the night before he was billed to travel, since I couldn’t leave my work station, we planned to talk that night, make plans and all. At 9pm, his number stopped going through and I assumed he needed time to discuss with his mum, take care of family, and put finishing touches to his packing before having time to speak with me on the phone.

I waited, kept waiting and still kept trying his number till I went berserk but still believed there was an explanation. My friends were in disbelief as we thought that certainly before his 10am flight he’d at least call me to say, ‘B’ or “the law” as he calls me, I’m leaving.
I wait tire. No show. Well, it dawned on me that my guy wasn’t going to call me. I broke down and cried bitterly. I was hurt, I screamed. I wanted to die. It just wasn’t happening to me again. This heartbreak? I couldn’t believe.
I rushed to the café since my network wasn’t working and sent a mail of 3 pages to him accusing him for hurting me and demanding an explanation only for the mail to be sent back to me that the address does not exist.

I died and woke up. My heart died. My spirit died. I lost whatever capacity to feel anything for anyone. I was recovering from heartbreak and now this? I searched for him through the friends who hooked us up, they had no answers. You see we had just met and it was a new relationship, I didn’t know much about him except what he told me. I searched and asked mutual friends in the Uk about him but no one had a clue as to who or where he was. He was like a phantom, and I, a joke.
I kept trying his number intermittedly for 8months. And then, today, this very morning, while at work, I was scrolling down an old phone and came across an old text he sent to me; I hissed.. I wanted to delete the text, number, everything about him and then deciding to punish myself one more time, I called the number.

The phone rang.
It rang my people, It rang. kept ringing. At first, I thought I was imagining it and I used my other line to call him and it still rang but no answer. I screamed! I didn’t know what to think so I called a close friend of mine and told her. She was so shocked she was speechless. As soon as I ended the call with my with my girlfriend, he called asking who it was that called him that he didn’t know who had the number. I was incoherent that I stuttered but in the end I asked if this was him, he said yes I identified myself and he said “oh, the law, what’s up? How did you get to know I was back?”.
I cringed. I told him to get out and I cut the phone on him.
He called me and said that he could explain, and asked how I was, where was I?.I kept dissing him and told him to free my line that his voice was grating on my ears then he said ok, that he’d call back later.
I could not contain myself so I sent him some pretty nasty text messages and he replied, Here are some of his replies.
-“U don’t need 2 go on like that b,dere is a good explanation for all this,luv…I swear ‘ve tried 2 locate you and I didn’t have your number…pls cl me ASAP. I really I’m happy 2 hear from you again”
-Just got bac from d uk b… Dere is no need for all this babes.. like I told you, I was gonna return bac 2 9ja b4 d year ends lost my handset but still deleted my sim and all my contact were on the phone luv…so pls stop all dis and lets talk..booooy, I missed you.

Anyway, when I finally took his call ,he kept apologizing for not telling me that he was going to leave at night not day and that as for the email, it was hotmail,not aol(but I was really sure he said aol).Finally that he’s been in 9ja since January, the first week even and had called our friends to ask of my number and was told that they had lost my contact..(my girlfriend told me to verify that.) He said he kept wishing that since he still had his sim that I’d just call one day. He said he wants to see me and that I should stop being mad at him about the past, since he can only keep saying sorry and that wont achieve anything, He suggested we go on with the future.
I haven’t been myself, the whole of today.. It’s been crazy. We even spoke through the night.. Catching up.. but I don’t know..
I’m confused-this is me 2cute4u, confused and in my heart, I’ve forgiven him but should I give him a chance?whatdaya think?



Sunday, February 7, 2010

WHY

Hello, I have this burning need to spill these questions, sometimes, life is just so complex yet simple attimes.These are my whys”:
-Why did my parents ever give me this strange name? That way, when I introduce myself, I have to endure the questions people ask?
Why oh why do I have these hips and backside? Forget my boobs, the bigger, the better.
Why can’t men, guys just be friends with chics? They must want something more? Really annoying!
Why is it that I only want to write when I’m sad? Write poems when I’m absolutely in despair and so hurt I can feel my guts spilling out?
Why do ladies believe the lies men tell?
Why must the introduction of sex in to a relationship turn the situation messy?
Why must guys say “Baby, I’m coming” during a sex interlude?
Why are ladies each other’s enemy?
Why is it so easy for a guy not to commit to a relationship yet so easy, typical for chics to be slaves to their relationships?
Why must ladies cross their legs or be expected to have a certain way of sitting properly? Does it matter?
Why must ladies be expected to perform house chores? Can’t the guy do the house chores as well? No inhibitions?
Why is it that when a lady is friendly and nice to a guy, He always thinks she is so into him?
Why can’t my mum stop poking her nose into my business?
Why is it that wristwatches don’t last on my wrist? They always stop functioning?
Why do guys stop loving-Just like that?
Why are some chics prettier and sexier than some others?
Why do I hate men?
Why is it that I can’t stop thinking of ways to punish those who have wronged me?
Why don’t I smile often nor am I happy but always despondent?
Why does life have to suck this much?
Why is it that the men I get to love don’t love me back?
This is out of a burning need to understand certain puzzles that I, on my own, have not been able to decipher. I love life to be simple enough to be understood even by me.. When this doesn’t go as it should, I try to solve it. Thus far, I haven’t been able to solve these ‘Ys’ that I have encountered in my life.